Duncan's Guide to Getting & Keeping a Relationship
by Theater Of The Mind
Summary: Duncan's Guide to Getting & Keeping a Relationship. Come on, he knows what he's doing. "So, to help the less suave unfortunate, I created a five step program to help you poor, poor saps."
1. Step One

Hello, I am Duncan Evers. Now I am the epitome of stereotypes, it's actually unbelievable. At my school I am considered to be, well a bad ass. You know the ones with the sick ass Mohawk and the piercings? Not only do I wear majority black with chains and band shirts, I have a messy as shit room with posters and carvings in every furniture piece my mom brings in. Now, what would you expect from a punk teenager who turns up the volume on Pink Floyd, doors locked, the weed in hand? Most likely you imagine a boy who refuses to open up to a single soul, living life by himself because he never lets emotions out which is why he is such a mess in the first place-Well not only is that complete and utter bull shit, but that is one hundred percent false. I just don't like getting all touchy feely with another person. My thoughts are my thoughts. Not to be shared.

But I'm making an exception-You see, many people around my school are, well, really lame. They walk around with their head so far up their ass that they can't see the day light. They can't come to terms with their own personality. Hell, I am even accepted the fact that at first glance people feel as if I am off-putting, only to bow at my feet the next time they see me. But with my originally scary vibes I also set the idea that I fuck to fuck, that I am the bad boy every girl gets her panties wet for, that I jump from girl to girl faster than my internet can load this post. But, surprise, that is false. I am actually in a fairly healthy relationship-Besides the arguing. But my relationship is the best I've ever had, and I thought of why. She is an amazing girl and I've learnt some relationship rules. I couldn't keep a relationship with out my guide. Honestly, no man can go without this list so cherish it.

I am the master and you are all my bitches.

I'm going to start off with the flirting stage. I've seen some of you guys flirt and it is like a plane coming into a landing with its wings missing. It is catastrophic.

So, to help the less suave unfortunate, I created a five step program to help you poor, poor saps.

So welcome to:

Duncan Ever's Guide to Getting and Keeping a Relationship:

**Step one**  
><strong>The Chase:<strong>

The chase is probably my most favorite part about a relationship, it is always challenging-Each girl is different. You need to find what your girl likes, what she does for fun, how to get her hot-And if you know that, then you know how to get her attention.

With Courtney it was rather simple. The more obnoxious I was, the more she noticed me. The more I talked in class, the more she wanted me to shut up. I constantly annoyed her, asking dumb questions, stalling class time, tossing papers at her. Now, my friends-Regardless of good or bad-that is how I became that constant thought inside her head. It was obvious that she didn't like me, from the very beginning, but, you see, hate can easily turn to love, perspective just needs to be changed.

Now, I can't take full responsibility for landing the hottest girl in my school. There was also a little thing called chance. Junior year of high school-Half a year ago to be exact-I was sitting in my shop class playing with a piece of wood. Everyone was still working on their bird house but I finished a few days before. Anyways, I was sitting there completely zoned out and then I hear the teacher yell me over. When I looked up I saw Courtney standing next to him, she was holding a black bag in one hand and a long thin piece of wood in the other. It was funny actually, as soon as her pretty little eyes laid themselves on this hunk of handsome, her face turned sour and she gasped.

I walked over to the two and causally stated, "Yes, teach? You need me to do something?"

"Ah, Duncan, this young lady here needs help building an instrument for her physics project." My teacher said, tightening his grip on my shoulder. He turned to Courtney, "Just pick a seat and Duncan will help you-He's the best I got."

And with that, we were alone. I grabbed her bag and placed it on the table. I rubbed my hands together, "Let's see what we got!"

She explained the project, something about getting the frequency of the sound of the strings and blah blah blah-It was physics stuff so I didn't really care much for it. She planned on making a violin from scratch.

She came in everyday and I would help her, whenever I would make a cut or even clamp the wood to the table she would yell at me to be careful. Occasionally we'd argue about a cut or how I am working, but I always won; mainly because I would flaunt the fact that I was in shop for three years while she wouldn't even hammer a nail. I knew that got her mad, she wanted to be right and prove me wrong, but in this situation there was no way she would win. She watched my every move-And I will admit that I caught her checking me out once or twice.

Once I glued the final piece on, I handed her the violin and told her that she better play me a song when she adding the strings in. Her response, "Maybe you should come over my house one day and I could teach you to play me a song?" That playful smile crept on her lips.

From then on out, every paper I threw at her in Spanish class became a note, and with every note came a smile. I liked that, instead of rushing to my next class I would pack up slowly and wait by the door for her-Walking her to her next class.

I admit everything was cheesy as hell, but she loved it.

But just like that the chase ended, it was time to move on the step- which is split in two parts. Asking out and the actual first date. If these run smoothly, then the rest will all be easy-But we shall cross that bridge when we approach it.

* * *

><p>Meep. New story, eh? I haven't written since... January? hahaha Still haven't gotten the last chapter of the Christmas Special.. hehe<p>

I find this one ten times better! There will be three chapters and an epilogue. You'll see. They are all going to be relatively short.

I want to thanks to ChloeRhiannonX for being my Beta for this! :)

and I want to dedicate this to DontBeAfraidToStandOut who keeps pushing to write! :)

So let me know what you all think of this one! Please, review and let me know any of your thoughts on this!


	2. Step Two and Three

Now, I would like to back track a little bit- the chase ends when she says yes to being your girlfriend, not when her crush is obvious.

Tip: You never know when another dude might come and snatch her! Watch out!

But yeah, so here comes my next segment.

Part Two: Dating.

So, when a girl likes you- despite girls being confusing and all the jazz- you will know. Not only will it be extremely obvious, but you two will be acting like a couple without the benefits. My first hangout with Courtney went a little something like this; we hung out at my house, watched a few movies, cuddled and, oh drum roll please, we kissed. It is not much of a surprise though considering how much sexual tension there was, holy crap. We basically eye fucked daily in class from across the room. Although I am slightly surprised she wasn't naked on my bed by the end of the night... Then again, it is Courtney. She is a little uptight prude.

Anyway, there is a difference between hanging out and going on a date. Hanging out is free whereas a date considers me paying fifty bucks to make her smile and feed her and it is actually in a public place. Hanging out is more relaxed and cheaper- which is why I prefer it. But going on a date is a public statement of "we have a fling-don't bother us." I was always fine with keeping the relationship on the down low.

But that was until this came up. And no, you perverts, I am not talking about my dick. I am talking about this:

"Duncan, why don't we go see a movie?"

I glanced down at Courtney, we were in my room on my bed watching some movie she brought I wasn't paying much attention anyhow.

"Aren't we?"

"No. I mean at the theater." She smiled at me, sitting up and pushing a hair back.

I grinned wildly, "You mean like a date, huh?" She didn't reply to me, but I laughed a bit then respond with, "We'll see."

She huffed, crossing her arms in defeat, trying to ignore me and concentrate on the movie. She wanted things to go further than just hang out and making out and I wasn't prepared to do that. You would expect a girl like Courtney to man up and make the first move toward the relationship- putting her foot down and drawing the line but I knew she couldn't or rather, didn't want to. She was way too old fashioned to ask me out on a date hell, even then she refused to admit that she thought I had a winning smile and a golden personality.

Now, I knew that drove her mad. Like any other girl, once she eventually accepted that she had feelings for me (stage one) and she wanted things to be official, she wanted to skip the bullshit. Although me choosing Courtney as a target was a full time commitment, I knew that I wouldn't be able to commit if she fit one of these quirks; psychotic, needy, over emotional- or worse- a STAGE FIVE CLINGER. Now after a few more hang outs I deemed Courtney worthy of dating, so after school I walked her to her car and before leaving I slyly questioned, "You doing anything Saturday night?"

She frowned, "I might have some homework to finish up." She shrugged then quickly added, "But I can do it in the morning or on Sunday, why?"

I grinned at her, "I was just going to ask if you wanted to go out, like out- to the mall or to see a movie. Maybe have dinner."

The smile on her face illuminated as she nodded and softly kissed me on the cheek. She got into her car and winked at me as she stated, "It's a date." then drove off.

Tip: Dating doesn't equal boyfriend.

Bottom line, if you want to be able to even be considered "dating," you need to make advancements and actually spend time with the girl. You have to put forth the effort and let her see your interest.

It took Courtney a while to even acknowledge that what we had was a thing. She refused whenever I would ask her if she thought I was cute or if she had a crush on me- silly stupid flirty questions. She once shouted that she would never be even considered a friend of mine- but keep in mind she said this while we were curled up on the couch cuddling while watching 'The Devil Wears Prada.' By the way, I didn't have a say in what the movie was.

Anyways, all it takes is some courage and confidence if you want a girl to be going on a first date with you. It doesn't only take a hot body and face.

Tip: Actually, get to know the girl before asking her out. Not only will you have more to talk about, but you both with actually enjoy it instead of it being awkward. That was somewhat helpful...No stage five clingers and those take time to reveal themselves.

Step three: Make it official.

Tip: Please do this after a few dates, NOT after the first one.

Although I already knew Courtney wasn't a psychopath ready to chop me up into tiny bits of pieces, and even though I spent every waking moment thinking of her, talking to her, texting her, holding her, being around her, you get the idea. Well, all that did not mean that we knew each other. Sure I knew that when she was five she got her knee stuck in between the jungle gym bars (which by the way is hilarious- if you want to tell you the story then let me know… But don't tell her I told you). I also knew how when she was twelve she moved school because all the kids in her old school would constantly ridicule her for being a little too bossy and mean and how she would come home every night and cry to her parents. I knew all those things about her, but I didn't really know her.

It's a weird concept and I am sorry to make it sound confusing, but yeah, that is what it is. You never fully know a person even after a year of dating.

Anyways, after four dates I figured to end the anticipation on the fifth date. I was bringing her to this museum she was bitching about seeing. Day and night that is all I would hear. Anyways, so I brought her to that museum, we walked around for about three hours and she would explain the pictures and the sculptures. She knew about ten minutes of information about each picture. She didn't skip one!

But even though I was bored as hell and wanted to leave, I stayed. And I stayed because she was enjoying herself, and what made her happy, made me happy. Now, after the date, she wanted to have some ice-cream, so I brought her to this parlor- I was going to ask her to be my girlfriend there but there were kids running around everywhere and rap music going off in the back about getting money and pussy and that wasn't how I would want her to remember it.

On the ride home I tried to ask her, but whenever I attempted to bring it up I would get nervous and I would ask her how her cat was doing... She didn't own a cat by the way.

This girl, single handily inadvertently turned me into a sap. A poor, poor sap. I couldn't speak around her, my palms would get sweaty, I don't know what it was about her, but I wasn't able to be punk-ass Duncan, the bad boy who would eat your brains the next time you did so little as to glance at him.

It was odd.

But eventually I got a hold of all my courage. She got out of the car and was walking to her house. She was halfway to her door when…when I got a rush of energy; I opened my car door and basically ran out to her.

She turned and looked at me, laughing "I thought you were leaving."

"I was-I am! But I just couldn't leave without asking you something," I began to slow down my speech. At the time I didn't realize it but now thinking back I was a little over dramatic.

She smiled at me, "What is it, Duncan?"

I put my hands in pockets, and looked at her, "Princess, I really like you and I was wondering if you would do me the honor of being my girlfriend."

She didn't say much which I'll admit freaked the hell out of me. I immediately regretted asking her or even trying to get at her in the first place. I glanced up at her and that's when I realized I was staring at the floor- how pathetic. Anyways she was just looking at me-I swear she wasn't even blinking. And that scared me even more.

See what I am talking about? Since when have I been scared? I am not scared of fighting or jail or pulling a prank on a teacher and yet I am scared to ask one girl a simple question or rather I am scared of her ridiculously long pause between me asking and her answering.

Finally she spoke up, "What was that?"

My shoulders fell and I wanted to slap myself in the face. I felt her hands on my face as she tugged closer to her. I felt her nose pressed against mine, our eyes staring down each other as she commanded, "I didn't quite get that, you spoke too fast."

A small smirk played across her lips. She sure as hell heard me. And after all my panic I was damn not saying that again. We stayed like that for a while until she pressed on "Hmm? I didn't catch that."

My eyes rolled back. She. Heard. Me. I know she did, but I figured what the hell if she is going to play this game then I will just rain on her parade.

I felt the normal Duncan resurface as I closed the gaps between us and kissed her. Her arms wrapped around my neck and hugged her tight. The kiss wasn't too long but as soon as we parted I said, "Be my girlfriend, Courtney."

She smiled slightly at my abrupt statement and pecked me on the lips, "It would be my pleasure."

And just like that, Duncan Evers was off the market.

Also, that is when the chase ends. As soon as Facebook is hit up with 50+ likes and comments on "Courtney Garcia is now in a relationship with Duncan Evers". Now that is sure does turn some heads- considering how low key our dating was.

* * *

><p>Mer Hur.. Second CHAPTER! :D<p>

Thanks to everyone who reviewed- I normally review reply but I barely get time actually on the computer to do so.. I write everything (including PM's and stories) on my ipod and fanfiction mobile hasn't created the setting to reply to reviews so once it does.. i'll reply more frequently.

Speaking of reviews, . said that this was like a blog! haha yea, I guess it is! XD Speaking of blogs, if you guys want to follow me on Tumblr you can! ^_^ my URL is antoniettepuyolt(dot)tumblr(dot)com just send me a message saying your from FF and i'll follow you guys back that is if your blog isn't a porn blog! :P

Epp so I am a big movie junkie and a while back I found where Courtney and Duncan's character comes from; The Breakfast Club. Watch the movie and you'll know what I mean. There is this character; John Bender who is a complete bad ass loud mouth with piercings (cough cough Duncan) and he likes or rather develops a crush on the prissy out tight "princess", Claire Standish who is so like Courtney it is not even funny. Of course in the movies she falls for his bad boy charms and he eases up a little.. watch it and you'll see EXACTLY what I mean.

A note on me:

Currently obsessed with Supernatural. I watched some episodes probably like 5 years back and I fell in love. So I watched whenever I could but I found it hard to follow the main story line so now that I have netflix I am watching it in order. I started Friday night on season one and now I am three episodes in season three hahaha a season a day! :O Also, those boys are cutie patooties! ;)

and

Recently I got my wisdom teeth pulled and I didn't swell up like a chipmunk! I was going to go to sleep during the procedure but then last minute I decided against it and I was awake during it. It wasn't too bad! It would have been such a waste to go to sleep during it! I am glad I didn't! :P haha so if you are getting your wisdom teeth pulled just get local anethesia and don't go to sleep, STAY AWAKE- you'll save money and it is completely fine to stay awake! :P so yeahhh!

Anywhooooo, let me know what you think about this chapter in the review section and/or through PMs...

Theater Out.


	3. Step Four

Part Four: Keeping the girl.

Now the only way I was able to stand Courtney for going on seven months is due to our constant allure to one another. All I want to do when i am around her is know more about her. I just want to hold her and watch a movie and just... Uhh, make out and sometimes we fuc- why lie? We haven't had sex and I don't want to. Well not just yet.

Sure I enjoy her kisses and how she makes me all tingly but I don't think it would be a smart move.

Like I said before you could be dating someone for a year and not truly know them. She could still be a stage five clinger and the sex just completes the deal.

Anyways enough about sex, I don't want to get into the little morals I have left. This is about Courtney not me.

So Courtney she is one hell of a girl. And holy shit, I knew somewhere down the line I would love her. We were in the car the other day and I was listening to Zeplin then she changed the radio station to one of those "hip" stations. It was that Direction group and she began to sing with them. We got into an argument about music and how today's music sucked. She insisted that I would end up loving them but I retorted with a "driver picks the tunes, passenger shuts her cake hole."

Now you don't have to call me a romantic, but that line was smooth. Alright maybe it wasn't the smartest but it was amazing how much it changed us, even our relationship. It set boundaries, she knew where I wouldn't budge, even with her puppy eyes and the silent treatment and I knew when those British punks went on the radio to not touch it.

I mean, I don't know really what I mean. Courtney just completed me. What I didn't know, she did. If I needed help in math, she was there! If she needed help with someone on the more creative side, I helped. I even baked THREE HUNDRED cookies for her presidential campaign. I know, me baking sounds odd but at least my cookies were edible, her's were slightly more charred than a stack of overcooked ribs... Well, I don't even want to remember what that was like for me.

I was beginning to grow a soft spot for her, everything she wanted, she got and same for me. Once I was lying on her bed as she was doing homework at her desk and she asked me if I wanted anything to drink. I said "No, but I would like a foot rub."

Now Courtney has this issue with feet, she doesn't like them. I am not sure why but she just doesn't.

But when she came back she rubbed my feet, given my socks stayed on...

Okay it's odd, but you can just see- we were willing to do whatever for each other. If she asked me to go across down on an hour drive just to buy her the strawberries she had been craving for months- I would. As strange as it sounds, I would. And if I asked her to stand next to me as I got my third tattoo she would (and did). Funny story, I know it doesn't seem like much of a sacrifice to make but she honest to god hated the tattoo parlor, she hated the atmosphere, the pointy needles, the "trashy ghetto exterior" bur as stubborn as she was, she was still willing to stand there holding my hand as some artist painted my last name across my shoulder blades. Ah, she is such a sweetheart.

You see our relationship works because we give without expecting anything back. Now, the hardest part about being with her is her friends. They were all completely against me. And well, my friends with her but hey screw what they think! The only person I could ever talk to about Courtney was Gwen. Yes, Gwen is a girl's name.

Gwen was the only one who was willing to listen to all my problems, whenever I was stressed out about anything Courtney related I would ask Gwen to help me. You see, before Courtney I hadn't been well dating very much. I sort of just hooked up- nothing serious. And well Gwen was a girl and don't all girls want that same relationship lovey-dovey crap?

Anyways, my relationship guru Gwen caused the biggest fight between me and Courtney. I would ask Gwen for help and she'd text me back with what to do. A couple times me and Courtney would be driving home and Courtney would see Gwen's name on my phone or when we were making out and I told Courtney to time out because I needed to take the call.

This went on for about eight months until me and Courtney got into a huge argument about trust issues- she attacked my background history with girls and my morality. Of course I fired back with 'eight months in and I haven't persuaded you to have sex... Plus I haven't cheated on you!' something along those lines but once cheating was brought up Courtney broke down, like a serious breakdown with tears and shit. It was overwhelming, I freaked out and just... Well, I bailed. I couldn't handle it. It was way too much, if she didn't trust me when I was being completely honestly then when would she ever trust me, and that is when I began to think, was this really a good relationship?

So my point here my friends is, when the relationship gets tough, is it best to leave or push through. I caught you all up on how to get the girl, now my duncamigos... That doesn't work... Now my readers... What should I do? I gave you all this advice and now I need some. I would go to Gwen but I can't, you readers are what I need to decide if I should either keep on going or give up?

* * *

><p>Phew, it's been a while.<p>

Well, I think that this story might just be done.. unless I get enough reviews wanting me to write a epilogue, other than that- I am done and yeah. I have nothing really to say but that you for reading and i hope you enjoyed it!

ohh btw, if you watch Legend of Korra PM me, i have so many feels i need to get out.. SO MANY DAMN FEELS!

Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed your time over here on Duncan's blog hahah

-Theater of the Mind

REVIEW!


End file.
